What is left when someone dies?
Memories good and bad,
emotions of loss and sadness,
maybe even anger.
Fear of the future
stuff - possessions rife with memories
surrounding each item
some meaningless,
others important to some.
So when my father expired,
as he did not pass violently or suddenly,
but passed peacefully
inhaling and exhaling his
last breath with calm peace
and the sweet and sour smell of death.
His death was not shocking
nor was the upheaval in the aftermath.
The only shock remained in how little
was left.
A mass of memories
and help given to many others.
Kind words and thoughts
but so little, so few things.
His body went in the casket
and was lowered
into the ground on a cold
winter day while we stood
outside shivering.
And I kept wanting to cover him
with a warm blanket, imagining
him shivering and cold all
while knowing that this was just
his body.
His vibrance and life gone
and all that was left
for me were a few items
placed lovingly in a cardboard box.
Then the box placed neatly
like him, as he was always neat,
in the basement closet
where it will remain,
like his casket in the grave.
This huge presence
who pervaded my life
reduced to a box in the basement.
My father in a box.
