What drugs is Sarah Palin on?

Could you imagine if you or I quit mid-school or mid-contract on an agreement, something we had signed on to do after full disclosure?  We would be viewed as unreliable in our industry and never hired again.  I guess I just don't get the Palin mystique if one exists.  Yes she is attractive, but so what.  She is not articulate, she has no new ideas, she is not well-versed in the issues at hand, she is in my mind George W. in a skirt.    She has no self-awareness, no insight, portrays herself as a victim rather than the volunteer that she is.  She volunteers for all of the media scrutiny of her acts and omissions as well as of her family life.  During the campaign I kept thinking what the media would have said had the Obama's teenage daughter become pregnant and he greeted the baby-daddy at the airport and brought him up on stage!  What if Obama had attending five colleges in six years before graduating from a mediocre school?  

Let's get real - why do we as Americans want mediocrity in our President?  Why do we accept it?  Shouldn't our country be run by the best and the brightest?  Rather than by a bunch of hypocrites - the ones who preach abstinence without educating their children about birth control, who preach about the sanctity of marriage but have affairs,  the ones who decry that we are judging them, but in fact judge us for our decisions because they are different?  Who judge those of other religions or denominations rather than accept them?  

Toleration - I have heard that word so much the last few years.  How we must tolerate others different than ourselves but I think it is dead wrong.  Toleration implies that we can continue to dislike someone whose views or acts are different then ours, but on the surface.  We don't have to like them, just tolerate them.  We don't have to have them in our homes or our houses of worship, just tolerate them, placate them.  But that misses the point. We need to accept others as they are, live and let live - isn't that what it really means to accept someone for who they are?  

I watch the media circus surrounding this bizarre woman and think that she is no different from Britney Spears except Britney has some talent.   

Musings on life and death

As an undergraduate student at Brandeis I studies my favorite poet, Emily Dickinson, and her obsession with death and dying.  She was rather morbid, but interesting.  I find myself thinking more about death now that I am middle-aged and watching my father's illness and decline.  And now, the deaths of public icons, plane crashes, car accidents, it is just all so random.  Life has become so random and violent and unpredictable.  It is no longer easy the way it was for some gentry in the old days to retreat into some inner world and not really interact in any external way, there was no internet and 24 hour news cycle screaming news and information at them.  Life was much slower, with time to contemplate the world, experience it, live it or choose not to live it, but there was time.  Now we listen to music while the tv is on, while we text and email and surf, and get nothing done, and think no great thoughts, experience little, just watch the world go by and watch those who have accomplished greatness depart.

G-d - And those who claim act on G-d's behalf

Last night an alleged Christian killed a licensed physician who performed a legal medical procedure - late term abortions.  Not only did this murderer kill this doctor and father of four, but did so in a church - a house of worship.  This is nonsensical.  It is as wrong as any religious extremist is who kills in the name of G-d.  

A higher power, that is how I perceive G-d.  Certainly all-knowing, somewhat loving, but not loving without limit, not really unconditional love.  I contemplate this issue even more right now with so many things happening in the world, heinous acts perpetrated in G-d's name.  

As I approach the 21st anniversary of my last drink on June 3, I recall struggling with concepts of G-d, spirituality and religion.  The spiritual journey that I embarked on so long ago.  The evolution of learning, practice and thought.  

One of the most meaningful descriptions was a woman I met who told me that her view of G-d came from the song "they called the wind Mariah".  She described how she viewed G-d as the wind and when she was acting properly the wind was act her back, but when she was headed in the wrong direction, she felt as though she had the wind blowing in her face, fighting against it.  Isn't that how we all feel so many times when things are going wrong in our lives?  

Another woman I met suffered from schizophrenia but loved trees.  She worshipped them as though she was a Druid.  I learned that spirituality is more pure than religion because when I view history through the prism of religion, and current events, acts and reactions of peoples and countries become so distorted through their use of G-d and religion to justify their actions. Particularly when their actions are purely about exercising power domination and control over others, to cover up inherent insecurities and uncertainties.  In other words, to hide fear. 

Extremism is extremism, no matter its origins or attempts at justification.  Hate is hate. 

As a former hate crimes prosecutor, the twisted logic that extremists use to justify their actions is interesting but fails for the reason that all extremism fails.  At some point the majority will get past their fear, and their fear of fear, and recognize the hate and extremism for what it is.  It is always attempts to deflect attention what the perpetrators (be they politicians, religious leaders, or warriors) are really attempting to achieve - power, domination and control.  To make people too afraid to ask questions, to challenge those in power and authority.  

To have us be a bunch of sheep, late at night, listening to noises in the dark, and the powers that be, the leaders of the flock are telling us that the noises are really wolves coming in for the attack, even though the wolves are not howling, and we have herd dogs to guard us.  At some point we must learn from history and not continue to repeat these mistakes and allow the pendulum to swing toward these religious extremes.  

 

Mid-life, Mid-career

20 years ago when I decided to go to law school I knew I would graduate at age 31 with a career ahead of me, but never believed I would unemployed at age 49, and opening my own practice to stay alive and support my family in a historically bad economy.  

I remember graduating college at age 20 in another recession (1980) and listening to every commencement speaker discuss how we were graduating at a horrible time and none of us would have jobs.  Most of my classmates went to graduate school.  I entered the job market and struggled for several years in journalism and the broadcasting industry before deciding that as a strong, aggressive, intelligent woman, I had no future in the broadcasting business especially without a MBA or a JD.   So I went to law school, fell in love with litigation and trial evidence, worked as an assistance prosecutor and deputy attorney general.  Tried cases, got married, had a child, got divorced, needed money, went to private practice, got married again.  But now, as a woman who is not a partner because of the years spent as a government lawyer, without a book of business to support my existence in a law firm, I am not marketable in this current climate.  So, as a professional who is mid-career, mid-life, I find myself starting my own practice, filing for unemployment (something I haven't done in 25 years).  

I think back to where we were as a country 25 years ago.  In 1979 I bought my first car - a Chevy Citation, a horrible lemon but it was a four-cylinder car with a four-speed manual transmission.  It got 36 miles per gallon, a requirement emanating from the OPEC-driven oil shortages in the 70's and our efforts toward energy independence.  Then during the Reagan years, the mileage standards were rolled back and our dependance on foreign oil grew, our foreign policies became distorted by our dependance on oil.  

We seem as a country to have no sense of history, no memory of how we got to where we are, and no political will to change it.  If France had the same conditions, people would be rioting in the streets, and going on strike.  But we Americans passively accept what is happening, shrug our shoulders in resignation and go on with our day, struggling to stay alive, feed our families, keep a roof over our heads, in the American tradition of personal responsibility rather than collective responsibility for our communities and our neighbors.  

Maybe it is time to learn something from other countries rather than put them down.  Maybe internationalism is positive, international law is something we can learn and benefit from, rather than something to be afraid of, and condescend to.  Those countries we sneer at have better cars that get better gas mileage than we do, better health care, better retirement and vacation benefits,  important little or no oil, do not destroy their environment, engage in real urban planning, frown on corporate farms, have a healthy food system,  maybe something is terribly wrong with this picture. 

The Republican revolution that started with their demi-god Ronald Reagan has failed on so many levels.  Reaganites always say unequivocally how Reagan destroyed the Soviet Union, but its collapse was inevitable because its economy was unsustainable.  Our collapse was not inevitable, driven by greed and corruption.  

So here I am, mid-life, mid-career, wondering how to salvage both, pay for college for my son in four years, pay for retirement, stay alive.  Where is my bail out?

The Bogus Health Care Debate

For the last six months, I have experienced the pathetic American health care system up close and personal while my father has been ill.  The whole system is failing.  I listen to the alleged debates by our legislators and think that it is all nonsense.  They all have health insurance, the best in the country.  So many people have nothing.  But you know what?  None of it matters.  Even if you have the best insurance, if you have no continuity in your care you have nothing.  If you have no family advocating on your behalf, you have no chance.  It is not that the doctors, nurses, technicians, don't care.  It is that the system is designed so that they can't care for the patients adequately.  They don't have time.  Their hands are tied by the financial constraints placed upon them by regulations, by insurance companies, and it is killing us.  I can no longer stand to hear this fiction that we have the best health care system in the country.  We don't.  Our infant mortality rate is lower than any other industrialized country.  Our life expectancy is not increasing at the rate of other industrialized countries.  When you look at the objective evidence our system is failing.  

We need change now, major change, not incremental change.  This is not an abstract argument, it is based in fact.  I also think about those who claim that the government should not be running our health care system, but it is already.  Is it any better or worse than all the insurance companies running it?  I do not trust either, but I trust the insurance companies less.  The financial incentive to deny care is too great.  

Also, for years I have been watching as I and so many others do not start businesses and do not take risks for fear of losing health coverage for me and my family.  Wouldn't our economy be that much more dynamic if people knew that no matter where they worked they would have health care for themselves and their families?  Wouldn't more people start businesses?  Wouldn't it give more people the option to stay home with small children?  Wouldn't our health in this country be better and, thus, make workers more productive?

Our system makes no sense and is not helping us stay healthy.  We take more medication per capita than any other industrialized country.  The drug companies own us.  We are constantly subjected to bizarre advertising that names diseases and conditions that we've never heard of.  Millions and billions spent so we will request these drugs from our doctors.  Millions more spent to influence our doctors to prescribe these drugs.  

Several years ago I read a comprehensive biography of Eleanor Roosevelt's first years in the White House and her efforts on Social Security which in its original form included nationalized health insurance.  All the same arguments were made then that are being made now.  We need an Eleanor Roosevelt to champion this cause.  Unfortunately, Hilary Clinton couldn't get it done in 1993.  Maybe Michelle Obama can do it in 2009.

CHANGE OR DIE

LAW FIRM TRANSITIONS

 

I have had the misfortunate of being part of the collapse and dissolution of a 100 year old law firm, one that had a wonderful history, but had outlived its usefulness and its ability to survive in our changing economy.  It did not streamline its staff fast enough, did not amend its compensation schedule in time to survive.  What I see now is how the practice of law is changing and must changing to continue in this 21^st century.  Like most brick and mortar stores, these firms must change or die.  During the process of opening my own office, a virtual office for now, I notice how easy and inexpensive it is to run a business in this modern era of computers, and internet, Efax, virtual telephone numbers and even Paypal.  My husband and I play a game as we drive throughout our community, and when we travel in the US and the world, we discuss which businesses will survive, what businesses and services do we really need?  So many that we don’t.  Do we really need to drive to do certain things, can we order on the internet and have it delivered?  Change or die, that is what businesses must do in this economy. 

THE LONGEST COLDEST WINTER

 

The winter of 2008-2009 wasn’t really but it felt that way.  My personal rule is to not complain about things that I cannot control, like weather.  But this winter felt so long and so cold, unrelenting after the last few winters of mild weather.  My father was ill and I felt he would never improve until the weather turned.  I walk outside now that the weather is beautiful and it feels so odd to not be bundled in coats, sweaters, and boots.  My relief at surviving the winter is profound.