Lucky Me

Like many people, at this time of year, we contemplate our lives, and try to discern a deeper meaning for why we are here on this Earth, what is our purpose? That has never been more true than this year, after 18 months of pounding economic problems in our country and in the world, to really take stock and think through what matters.

For years I have spent time thinking, believing that I was unlucky, that G-d did not believe me worthy of luck. Why? Because I was not one of the "beautiful" people? It is not that I am not beautiful, I am, just not in a classic way (as my husband tells me). Lucky? I have looked at other people’s luck – judging my insides by their outsides. I don’t know their stories, their individual or family traumas, heartaches, and heartbreaks. I just know that they seem luckier than me. Maybe they had a nicer car, or nicer house or nicer clothes. Maybe they seemed to have a better job, or get promoted ahead of me. Maybe their success seemed to come easy, while I worked harder but achieved less? But what does it all really mean? Do all those externals mean that I am unlucky? After years of observing the world, and being a student of human nature, I would say no.

So here is my lucky list:

I have a beautiful home (when so many have nothing).

I have food on the table (when so many are starving or afraid of going hungry).

I have clothes in the closet (when so many have nothing).

I have electricity and water and a telephone (when so many right now have nothing).

I have a healthy, intelligent son (when others have children who are sick or disabled).

I have an opportunity for self-employment (when so many do not have that chance).

I have a good marriage on the second-try (when some people never find their soul-mate).

I have had the opportunity to travel (when so many merely dream).

I have been reasonably healthy (when so many are ill and my best friend died after suffering with serious chronic illness for 20 years).

I have had the opportunity to help others through my profession.

Like everyone, I grew up in a dysfunctional(i.e. normal) home, but I was lucky because it was one that gave me many opportunities because of my father's hard work:

There was always food,

There was always a roof over our heads.

I went to good public schools.

I lived in a safe community.

I was given religious education (even though my parents were irreligious).

I was given the opportunity to attend a wonderful, challenging university.

My parents helped me financially at different times in my life.

Until one year ago, my parents were healthy.

My siblings were all healthy.

So, maybe it all comes down to that old expression, “there but for the grace of G-d go I” is still so true. There are so many less fortunate than me, I cannot and do not feel sorry for myself. I finally understand that I am, really, truly, lucky.

Beyond Fashion

So here I am, really 50 and trying to boil life down to its essence. What is it that I want to do with the remainder of my life? What really matters? Part of this analysis has included my wardrobe, cleaning out my closet, and reconsidering fashion. While I greatly admire the fashionable women (and men) of the world, where am I in the spectrum? Where do I want to be? The conclusion I have reached is to no longer chase the fashion dream. While I admit to having loved watching Project Runway (until this season which was terrible), I think I have achieved a fashion Zen, going for the classic clothes that will last me for years, and accessorizing for a little more style, my scarf collection included. I am still trying to force myself to wear everything in my closet, or give it away. But I am at peace with the fashion demons who plague we women, especially when we are young and trying to run with the crowd. I am beyond the crowd, I am to a large degree, beyond fashion, into the next phase of my life.

the whole in the donut

Or is it supposed to be the "hole" in the donut, aren't we just trying to make the donut whole? Isn't that what all the pols keep talking about with social security? The simple fix would be to take the cap off income, but I guess that is too simple and too much for those beholden to those who make more than $100,000 for whom contributions are capped. Whatever (I guess that is the most annoying phrase). We need to fix this problem. We can't keep making people work longer and longer because employers, despite anti-discrimination laws, won't hire them and find pretexts for firing older workers. We're not going to cut benefits because the benefit amount being paid barely covers anyone's expenses, must less including long-term care insurance, medicare deductibles, or prescription deductibles, including the hole in that donut.

We need also to be able to re-import drugs from Canada, and the government should be able to negotiate prices with the pharma companies - duuuuuuh. How stupid is it that we can't negotiate those prices, especially for cardiac, cancer, diabetes, asthma and other chronic and pervasive conditions and diseases.

Common sense, good business sense, but bad politics.

Not too big to break up

Don't we all just get sick and tired of hearing that phrase, "too big to fail." Well, those entities are not too big to break up, just the government did to banks, to standard oil, to AT&T, to the railroads etc. It is called anti-trust" to prevent monopolies, to stop corporations from manipulating our economy for their benefit, and harming the public good.

Well, it's time to start breaking up these banks and financial services companies that are "too big to fail," pull then apart and sell off the pieces. Look at what happened to the telephone industry when ATT's monopoly was dismantled? Our cell phones and computers and the modern age of communication. That is how it should be with banking and financial services. The more consolidation, the less competition there will be and we will all be hurt by it. It will breed more conflicts that can't be avoided in major transactions, and more corruption in the system.

Unfortunately, as Michael Moore rightfully points out in his new movie "Capitalism - a love story", our treasury department is being run by Goldman Sachs and its progeny, not people who are concerned about us little folk, just the titans of Wall Street and their friends, as it has been for 30 years, and the gap between rich and poor in this country keeps growing, until we will soon represent a 2d or 3d world country, back to where we were before FDR. Not too big on conspiracy theories but makes me wonder, isn't that the plan in certain parties and groups, to undo the New Deal?

Anti-trust, because we can't trust the powers that be to do the right thing.

Bottoms up

Most of the time we think of this as a drinking term. Get to the bottom of the glass, fast. But isn't there we almost are economically right now. Increasingly, I see it just driving, on the local roads, on the highways, coming in and out of NYC, less and less traffic, almost shocking the difference now versus a few years ago when the economy was humming and we were all rushing to go places, get to work, spend our money before we even earned it.

Bottoms up - also maybe the way we should have fixed the economy. What if, instead of bailing out the banks and financial institutions, who add nothing to our productivity, who produce nothing, who manufacture nothing, just take from all of us, what if we bailed out us little people who pay our taxes who work and struggle to survive? I kept thinking this last summer when the economy began to tank and we began bailing out the AIGs of the world, rewarding failure. It made little sense to me, despite the pleas of Krugman and other economists who explained this had to be done. I kept wondering, why not give the money to us - requiring us to pay our mortgages with it, our credit card bills, our car loans. Wouldn't then the banks be instantly solvent without toxic assets on the books? Wouldn't then our houses would have kept value and we would still be in them? Wouldn't then we would have more money to spend on stuff to keep the economy humming? We could all then afford to pay our taxes? But maybe this is just too simple an idea.

Keep it simple stupid.

Awarding Mediocrity

For the last few years, watching our community and our country award failure and mediocrity. We award millions and billions to banks and companies who have failed and their employees, with no consequences for failure.

We award children for most improved, best attendance, compliance with teachers and staff, and so on but not really awarding and recognizing real academic achievement. We reward children who are gifted in sports, or the arts, but what about the sciences? Science is our future, it is our way out of global warming, It is our way out of pandemics, energy shortages, real invention and innovation will all be science-based. Instead, we question science we question evolution, we refuse to teach our children real history and instead teach some watered down version of it. I see my son in high school doing projects and posters that are more at the elementary school level.

I see students who can't think their way out of a paper box disrupt classes and destroy the learning experience for those who want to learn, with no consequences.

I see students who truly achieve on standardized testing not get recognition or awards, even when it will make their school district look good, because, I am told, it might hurt the feelings of the other children. Well, maybe they will then have the incentive to work harder, to try more, to excel at something.

For eight years we had a president who was mediocre, who had no intellectual curiosity, who didn't want to learn about the Middle East and the countries we were invading. I always remember the phrase, Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it. Isn't that the truth. Anyone who knows the history of the Middle East would know we were doomed to failure, just like Vietnam. And again, we have learned nothing assured that again no one will accept responsibility for the disaster and enormous waste of human lives and money that should be used to build our own country, to pay for health care, to pay for bridges and roads, and green innovation, research that will drive us through the next century of innovation and change. And instead, we rewarded mediocrity, and did nothing, achieved nothing.

Kevin Phillips (a Republican economist) is entirely right when he discussed in his book American Theocracy the global decline of imperialist countries historically, including the Dutch, the Romans and the British and how the three signs of the declining societies, a change in the energy driving the society and a failure to adjust to that change (here oil), a rise in religion and religious implications in the political realm (see the religious right's control over the Republican party and how everyone panders), soaring debt and decline in manufacturing (thanks to free-market believers who have sold our manufacturer down the river and over the ocean) and we are on our way out as a world power.

Our educational system is failure. Our health care system is failing. We are in deep trouble with no one willing to take responsibility and fix the problems because it is too politically difficult and assumes we as a people are too stupid and shallow to get it. Maybe we are, because we have rewarded mediocrity and consumerism for too long.

Let's have national awards for genius, for achievement, and get on it now. Forget no child left behind, how about free college for those who achieve? Isn't that what other societies in Europe do who are beginning to outpace us? China is all about science and engineering and they will outstrip us within 50 years, It is inevitable. Forget Spanish, we all better be learning Mandarin and Cantonese.

Loss of Civility - Bullying

Kanye West, Joe Wilson, we've all been hearing it, discussing it, the ongoing disrespect we seem to have in our society, simple rudeness to others.

The last few years it has become increasingly worse. To stand in line with children at a supermarket or Target and be forced to listen to someone using endless profanity as if they were in their living room, or in an r-rated movie or on HBO. When asking them to stop swearing in front of my children, sometimes they will look at me as if I had two heads, but then the light will go on "oh" realizing that their conduct is not appropriate. Other times my simple request will be met with more virulent profanity.

It has become so commonplace to be rude, to use profanity, to show disrespect to others, it is a sad commentary on our democracy. To me, the heart of democracy is to show respect to others, even when you disagree with them. As an attorney when I am in court, I may strongly disagree with my adversary or the judge, but I must show them respect. I cannot call them a traitor, a socialist, a communist, Hitler, or even that they lie. I do not interrupt them. Listening and showing respect to others seems to be dying skills and art.

Watching Kanye West and Joe Wilson made me think if children in kindergarten who probably behave better then our public figures and those at the teabag protests. What I see is no different than school yard bullies who think they can take control through fear and intimidation while the media acts as any bystander does in a bullying situation, doing nothing and allowing it to continue rather than stepping in and stopping it Call it what it is and end it.