The Seven Ages of Man

As a huge Shakespeare fan, I have been thinking lately about the "Seven Ages of Man" monologue in "As You Like It" and how his description of the life's arc is so accurate:

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything." — Jaques (Act II, Scene VII, lines 139-166)

As I visit my father every day in the assisted living facility in which he is currently residing, and I observe its residents, I am reminded of this passage. I observe how aging is so different person to person. For some their bodies go first, while their minds are still functioning. For others, the body keeps going forward, while their mind deteriorates. It is so individual, and so nuanced, and all so frightening to think that this could be me in 30 years or my husband. Who will care for us? What if our children don't or won't? What if we cannot afford the wonderful care my father is able to receive. So much to think about and consider while still living, working, raising teenagers, pay for colleges and graduate school, not saving for retirement, thinking we will never really retire not because we don't want to but because we cannot afford to.

So we can only hope that our "justice" period is long-lived, and that our second childishness period is mercifully short and painless.

The Lost Decade

The Lost Weekend, a great movie about alcoholism and sliding downward into the horrors of addiction. I know people can lose a weekend, but can they lose a decade? Recently, I was reading an article about how to name the decade of the 2000-2010 period, my vote is for the lost decade, the decade in which we, Americans lost so much. What exactly did we lose?

Our stature in the world?

Our ability to retain some moral high ground?

Our belief in science?

Our faith in the political process?

Our economic progress achieved in the 1990s?

Our economic balance between rich and pool?

Our middle class?

Our imperial nature as economic and social realities take preeminence?

Our battle over immigration and control of our borders?

Our sense of safety and security in the world?

Our minds as we listened to the Orwellian double-speak put forth by politicians and talk-radio?

All of the above?

Again, my vote is for the lost decade, one in which we got drunk on denial, denied science on global warming and so much else, denied the reality of what was happening economically and on wall street, as we got drunk on debt and homes and things we couldn't afford, and got drunk on some puffed up belief of ourselves as the world's bad cop, going out to kick butt like some drunk in a bar fight, and set up our sheriff in a wild west town with no laws and no interest in a legal structure, but somehow expect those laws to be enforced.

Sound familiar? The lost weekend, but worse, on a national and global scare.

Pets and People

Like most people I love my pets. Like an extra child who will never grow up, who I will likely have to suffer through their death, care for them when ill, maintain their health in the meantime etc. What we get in return is, of course, great pleasure, unconditional love. It is not the love of a child who eventually will outgrow you and leave, who will say in a fit of anger "I hate you." You will not get ignored as children will do. Pets, particularly dogs, are always happy to see you when you come home from a long day at work. They want love and attention and food and a walk, like children, but then don't ask for more. They don't care about the latest video game or movie, or what their friends think about their clothes. A dog doesn't care about a designer collar or leash, just cares about the food in the dish, does it have water, can it pee and poop outside, did it get walked? The relationship between animals and people is something fascinating to me. We talk about our pets as though they were our children. We find them comforting when we are sick or disabled. Therapy dogs, seeing eye dogs, companion dogs for those with food allergies or epilepsy, veterans who need assistance and so on.

Most of these dogs (but not all due to inbreeding) could survive in wild without us. But could we survive without them?We use them for hunting, guarding and police work, rodent control. shepherding, in addition to their other functions. We are truly co-dependent with them.

Maybe that explains our fascination with zoos and nature shows, "Animal Planet", "National Geographic", and movies about animals. Our fascination extending to imaging what are they thinking? what would they say, as if they were human?

My husband always wonders, do dogs really remember us? Do they have a perception of time? Our question was answered recently watching numerous videos on uTube as soldiers return from the Middle East to their dogs who clearly recognize them, and are so thrilled to see them that both the dogs and people are crying in their own way. Truly moving to watch as these animals clearly knew their owner had been gone longer than usual, definitely not just another day at the office.

Lucky Me

Like many people, at this time of year, we contemplate our lives, and try to discern a deeper meaning for why we are here on this Earth, what is our purpose? That has never been more true than this year, after 18 months of pounding economic problems in our country and in the world, to really take stock and think through what matters.

For years I have spent time thinking, believing that I was unlucky, that G-d did not believe me worthy of luck. Why? Because I was not one of the "beautiful" people? It is not that I am not beautiful, I am, just not in a classic way (as my husband tells me). Lucky? I have looked at other people’s luck – judging my insides by their outsides. I don’t know their stories, their individual or family traumas, heartaches, and heartbreaks. I just know that they seem luckier than me. Maybe they had a nicer car, or nicer house or nicer clothes. Maybe they seemed to have a better job, or get promoted ahead of me. Maybe their success seemed to come easy, while I worked harder but achieved less? But what does it all really mean? Do all those externals mean that I am unlucky? After years of observing the world, and being a student of human nature, I would say no.

So here is my lucky list:

I have a beautiful home (when so many have nothing).

I have food on the table (when so many are starving or afraid of going hungry).

I have clothes in the closet (when so many have nothing).

I have electricity and water and a telephone (when so many right now have nothing).

I have a healthy, intelligent son (when others have children who are sick or disabled).

I have an opportunity for self-employment (when so many do not have that chance).

I have a good marriage on the second-try (when some people never find their soul-mate).

I have had the opportunity to travel (when so many merely dream).

I have been reasonably healthy (when so many are ill and my best friend died after suffering with serious chronic illness for 20 years).

I have had the opportunity to help others through my profession.

Like everyone, I grew up in a dysfunctional(i.e. normal) home, but I was lucky because it was one that gave me many opportunities because of my father's hard work:

There was always food,

There was always a roof over our heads.

I went to good public schools.

I lived in a safe community.

I was given religious education (even though my parents were irreligious).

I was given the opportunity to attend a wonderful, challenging university.

My parents helped me financially at different times in my life.

Until one year ago, my parents were healthy.

My siblings were all healthy.

So, maybe it all comes down to that old expression, “there but for the grace of G-d go I” is still so true. There are so many less fortunate than me, I cannot and do not feel sorry for myself. I finally understand that I am, really, truly, lucky.

Beyond Fashion

So here I am, really 50 and trying to boil life down to its essence. What is it that I want to do with the remainder of my life? What really matters? Part of this analysis has included my wardrobe, cleaning out my closet, and reconsidering fashion. While I greatly admire the fashionable women (and men) of the world, where am I in the spectrum? Where do I want to be? The conclusion I have reached is to no longer chase the fashion dream. While I admit to having loved watching Project Runway (until this season which was terrible), I think I have achieved a fashion Zen, going for the classic clothes that will last me for years, and accessorizing for a little more style, my scarf collection included. I am still trying to force myself to wear everything in my closet, or give it away. But I am at peace with the fashion demons who plague we women, especially when we are young and trying to run with the crowd. I am beyond the crowd, I am to a large degree, beyond fashion, into the next phase of my life.

the whole in the donut

Or is it supposed to be the "hole" in the donut, aren't we just trying to make the donut whole? Isn't that what all the pols keep talking about with social security? The simple fix would be to take the cap off income, but I guess that is too simple and too much for those beholden to those who make more than $100,000 for whom contributions are capped. Whatever (I guess that is the most annoying phrase). We need to fix this problem. We can't keep making people work longer and longer because employers, despite anti-discrimination laws, won't hire them and find pretexts for firing older workers. We're not going to cut benefits because the benefit amount being paid barely covers anyone's expenses, must less including long-term care insurance, medicare deductibles, or prescription deductibles, including the hole in that donut.

We need also to be able to re-import drugs from Canada, and the government should be able to negotiate prices with the pharma companies - duuuuuuh. How stupid is it that we can't negotiate those prices, especially for cardiac, cancer, diabetes, asthma and other chronic and pervasive conditions and diseases.

Common sense, good business sense, but bad politics.

Not too big to break up

Don't we all just get sick and tired of hearing that phrase, "too big to fail." Well, those entities are not too big to break up, just the government did to banks, to standard oil, to AT&T, to the railroads etc. It is called anti-trust" to prevent monopolies, to stop corporations from manipulating our economy for their benefit, and harming the public good.

Well, it's time to start breaking up these banks and financial services companies that are "too big to fail," pull then apart and sell off the pieces. Look at what happened to the telephone industry when ATT's monopoly was dismantled? Our cell phones and computers and the modern age of communication. That is how it should be with banking and financial services. The more consolidation, the less competition there will be and we will all be hurt by it. It will breed more conflicts that can't be avoided in major transactions, and more corruption in the system.

Unfortunately, as Michael Moore rightfully points out in his new movie "Capitalism - a love story", our treasury department is being run by Goldman Sachs and its progeny, not people who are concerned about us little folk, just the titans of Wall Street and their friends, as it has been for 30 years, and the gap between rich and poor in this country keeps growing, until we will soon represent a 2d or 3d world country, back to where we were before FDR. Not too big on conspiracy theories but makes me wonder, isn't that the plan in certain parties and groups, to undo the New Deal?

Anti-trust, because we can't trust the powers that be to do the right thing.