Awarding Mediocrity

For the last few years, watching our community and our country award failure and mediocrity. We award millions and billions to banks and companies who have failed and their employees, with no consequences for failure.

We award children for most improved, best attendance, compliance with teachers and staff, and so on but not really awarding and recognizing real academic achievement. We reward children who are gifted in sports, or the arts, but what about the sciences? Science is our future, it is our way out of global warming, It is our way out of pandemics, energy shortages, real invention and innovation will all be science-based. Instead, we question science we question evolution, we refuse to teach our children real history and instead teach some watered down version of it. I see my son in high school doing projects and posters that are more at the elementary school level.

I see students who can't think their way out of a paper box disrupt classes and destroy the learning experience for those who want to learn, with no consequences.

I see students who truly achieve on standardized testing not get recognition or awards, even when it will make their school district look good, because, I am told, it might hurt the feelings of the other children. Well, maybe they will then have the incentive to work harder, to try more, to excel at something.

For eight years we had a president who was mediocre, who had no intellectual curiosity, who didn't want to learn about the Middle East and the countries we were invading. I always remember the phrase, Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it. Isn't that the truth. Anyone who knows the history of the Middle East would know we were doomed to failure, just like Vietnam. And again, we have learned nothing assured that again no one will accept responsibility for the disaster and enormous waste of human lives and money that should be used to build our own country, to pay for health care, to pay for bridges and roads, and green innovation, research that will drive us through the next century of innovation and change. And instead, we rewarded mediocrity, and did nothing, achieved nothing.

Kevin Phillips (a Republican economist) is entirely right when he discussed in his book American Theocracy the global decline of imperialist countries historically, including the Dutch, the Romans and the British and how the three signs of the declining societies, a change in the energy driving the society and a failure to adjust to that change (here oil), a rise in religion and religious implications in the political realm (see the religious right's control over the Republican party and how everyone panders), soaring debt and decline in manufacturing (thanks to free-market believers who have sold our manufacturer down the river and over the ocean) and we are on our way out as a world power.

Our educational system is failure. Our health care system is failing. We are in deep trouble with no one willing to take responsibility and fix the problems because it is too politically difficult and assumes we as a people are too stupid and shallow to get it. Maybe we are, because we have rewarded mediocrity and consumerism for too long.

Let's have national awards for genius, for achievement, and get on it now. Forget no child left behind, how about free college for those who achieve? Isn't that what other societies in Europe do who are beginning to outpace us? China is all about science and engineering and they will outstrip us within 50 years, It is inevitable. Forget Spanish, we all better be learning Mandarin and Cantonese.

Loss of Civility - Bullying

Kanye West, Joe Wilson, we've all been hearing it, discussing it, the ongoing disrespect we seem to have in our society, simple rudeness to others.

The last few years it has become increasingly worse. To stand in line with children at a supermarket or Target and be forced to listen to someone using endless profanity as if they were in their living room, or in an r-rated movie or on HBO. When asking them to stop swearing in front of my children, sometimes they will look at me as if I had two heads, but then the light will go on "oh" realizing that their conduct is not appropriate. Other times my simple request will be met with more virulent profanity.

It has become so commonplace to be rude, to use profanity, to show disrespect to others, it is a sad commentary on our democracy. To me, the heart of democracy is to show respect to others, even when you disagree with them. As an attorney when I am in court, I may strongly disagree with my adversary or the judge, but I must show them respect. I cannot call them a traitor, a socialist, a communist, Hitler, or even that they lie. I do not interrupt them. Listening and showing respect to others seems to be dying skills and art.

Watching Kanye West and Joe Wilson made me think if children in kindergarten who probably behave better then our public figures and those at the teabag protests. What I see is no different than school yard bullies who think they can take control through fear and intimidation while the media acts as any bystander does in a bullying situation, doing nothing and allowing it to continue rather than stepping in and stopping it Call it what it is and end it.

Dejas vous all over again?

Every September, that is how it feels to me. All the years of school behind me, as Labor Day approaches and then passes through all the memories of first days of school, seeing friends after a long summer break, returning home after a summer away at camp, and feeling the sadness of the days gone by, friends who have passed away and are no longer around to share the memories with. It feels as though a whole part of my life is gone with those deaths, as they were keepers of the memories, sometimes ones I had forgotten until they revived some obscure tale from our childhood. No one to share the new memories with.

The new memories of my son's school years, new clothes, running for school supplies the school didn't tell us we needed until after school starts and the supplies can no longer be found, bus problems, class problems, and on and on. Hoping that when he reaches middle-age that he will be able to look back on these days with fondness, and some sadness that these days too have passed by, but has the opportunity to create new memories with his children.

Always, as September begins and ages, I find myself delving in my closets and drawers to find my cooler weather clothes, like finding lost friends that I had forgotten about, my beautiful silk scarves that I wear all winter to liven up my boring lawyer suits, and my shoes and boots and jackets and coats, and say goodbye to summer and summer clothes until next year. Can 2010 really be only 3 months away?

Cooking from memory

Most of the time, I think although I cook well, that I am a somewhat limited cook. Since I have time these days, and my son keeps asking me to write down recipes so he will have them when he grows up, I began to do just that. In writing down the recipes I have kept in my cooking muscle memory for 20-30 years, I was surprised at how many are there - at least 40 - just be memory.

Then I started reviewing and adding favorite recipes from cookbooks, or ones my mother wrote down for me 20 years ago, or I copied from her books 25 years ago. Then I started adding articles I had clipped from Gourmet, or Bon Appetit, or the New York Times, and it kept going and going.

Probably to more than 200 recipes which I have now added together into a book for my kitchen and for my son. In a form that I can keep adding to it, and perfecting it for years to come.

But in really reviewing all these recipes I can see the evolution of my life, of my health food life, of my cooking life, from very simple recipes to more adventurous recipes that require more thought, skill and concentration, and better kitchen tools and self-confidence.

So, my son and his children (I hope) will have an interesting keepsake, one that will be used and evolve into their own recipes, stores, and history.

Zen of Family Life

To survive my family (which is entirely normal, meaning equally as dysfunctional as everyone else's family), I have spent many years in therapy and learning how to be the pebble in the brook. The water rushes around me and over me, but I am stable, solid, not moving, not allowing myself to be moved or affected by the weather and the water rushing and moving. Most of the time I succeed, despite much adversity.

Growing up

When are we ever really grown up? This topic came up yesterday for me during a client meeting with someone who is not happy about turning 30, when I will shortly be turning 50. He is not ready. I never believed I would make it to 30, thinking drinking and drugs would kill me. Instead, I found sobriety at 28 and here I am.

In these times, do we grow up when we graduate college? Don't think so. Many of us these days don't marry, don't have children for years. We work and play and live independent lives but not really grown up ones. Very little responsibility to anyone but ourselves, and some for work. Is it when we get married? Somewhat, as we then begin to have responsibility toward others, maybe buy a house, work more and harder with greater consequences for failure. Certainly becoming a parent is a big one, forcing one into maturity in ways we cannot anticipate or dream.

Another milestone in my life is happening next week, when my son begins high school. The days and years since his birth passed so fast, it is impossible to believe he is 13 and entering high school, with four years left until he begins to leave for college. Even knowing that he will be in and out of my home for the college years, it is still the anticipation of this sea change in life that frightens me. For any parent, our identities and days are so wrapped around parenthood, making sure our child has what he needs be it food, clothes, education, medical care, toys, friends, family, not in any particular order, just depending on the day and time.

Then one day, before we realize it is happening, he will be almost grown up, independent, going through the same process that we experienced, but in a different world then what we experienced growing up.

While we grew up in the Cold War, these children have grown up with the post 9/11 world. We grew up with computers that occupied and entire room. These children are growing up with the world literally at their fingertips with smart phones and the internet. We grew up fighting the government to keep our personal information private from government oversight and intrusion during the 60s and 70s, Watergate, and the Pentagon Papers. These children are growing up with no privacy via MySpace and Facebook, Twitter, and the big brother found in these social networking sights.

I can't say which is better. History may tell us or not. But it is a sure bet that we won't be here to find out.