Mid-life thoughts on aging parents

Watching my father's illness and declining health for the last eight months have been extraordinarily difficult. To see a man who in one day goes from being independent, driving, working, eating, walking, paying bills, making phone calls, ordering people around who work for him, to utter dependence in a matter of hours is shocking and horrifying. To contemplate that it could happen to me or my husband at any time is equally terrifying.

So, with all of that in mind D. and I sat down last night and talked about where our lives are headed and what would be on our "bucket list" to take an inventory of our future. It was interesting and telling - we made our lists independently, then compared them and were pleased to learn that more than half we had in common. Most revolved around travel and money, having enough money to not worry about bills, and having enough to be giving it away, doing some good in the world.

For me separately, most revolved around travel which D. has done but I have not, Israel, Greece, Portugal, Hong Kong. I also have a goal to have traveled to all 50 states only 18 to go which would not take long if I focused on it, but not now, after we are empty nesters -

Hawaii, Alaska, Arkansas, Alabama, South Carolina, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Idaho, Utah, Nevada, Montana, Washington, Oregon, Mississippi.

In looking at the list, I was pleased and surprised. We both agreed that we have done so much in our lives, and don't feel deprived. Maybe we haven't achieved what we wanted to professionally, and maybe we won't. But we've traveled, and experienced so much, and lived full lives before, during, and after parenthood, marriage, broken marriages, and broken families, and more.

Now that my son is home, the house doesn't feel quite so empty. At least for now we have positive energy, he is happy to be home from the busy summer with a few weeks left until school starts. I know we only have four more years, then off to college. Is that when life begins again? My summers now are trying to figure out what to do with that life.