The Lost Decade

The Lost Weekend, a great movie about alcoholism and sliding downward into the horrors of addiction. I know people can lose a weekend, but can they lose a decade? Recently, I was reading an article about how to name the decade of the 2000-2010 period, my vote is for the lost decade, the decade in which we, Americans lost so much. What exactly did we lose?

Our stature in the world?

Our ability to retain some moral high ground?

Our belief in science?

Our faith in the political process?

Our economic progress achieved in the 1990s?

Our economic balance between rich and pool?

Our middle class?

Our imperial nature as economic and social realities take preeminence?

Our battle over immigration and control of our borders?

Our sense of safety and security in the world?

Our minds as we listened to the Orwellian double-speak put forth by politicians and talk-radio?

All of the above?

Again, my vote is for the lost decade, one in which we got drunk on denial, denied science on global warming and so much else, denied the reality of what was happening economically and on wall street, as we got drunk on debt and homes and things we couldn't afford, and got drunk on some puffed up belief of ourselves as the world's bad cop, going out to kick butt like some drunk in a bar fight, and set up our sheriff in a wild west town with no laws and no interest in a legal structure, but somehow expect those laws to be enforced.

Sound familiar? The lost weekend, but worse, on a national and global scare.

Pets and People

Like most people I love my pets. Like an extra child who will never grow up, who I will likely have to suffer through their death, care for them when ill, maintain their health in the meantime etc. What we get in return is, of course, great pleasure, unconditional love. It is not the love of a child who eventually will outgrow you and leave, who will say in a fit of anger "I hate you." You will not get ignored as children will do. Pets, particularly dogs, are always happy to see you when you come home from a long day at work. They want love and attention and food and a walk, like children, but then don't ask for more. They don't care about the latest video game or movie, or what their friends think about their clothes. A dog doesn't care about a designer collar or leash, just cares about the food in the dish, does it have water, can it pee and poop outside, did it get walked? The relationship between animals and people is something fascinating to me. We talk about our pets as though they were our children. We find them comforting when we are sick or disabled. Therapy dogs, seeing eye dogs, companion dogs for those with food allergies or epilepsy, veterans who need assistance and so on.

Most of these dogs (but not all due to inbreeding) could survive in wild without us. But could we survive without them?We use them for hunting, guarding and police work, rodent control. shepherding, in addition to their other functions. We are truly co-dependent with them.

Maybe that explains our fascination with zoos and nature shows, "Animal Planet", "National Geographic", and movies about animals. Our fascination extending to imaging what are they thinking? what would they say, as if they were human?

My husband always wonders, do dogs really remember us? Do they have a perception of time? Our question was answered recently watching numerous videos on uTube as soldiers return from the Middle East to their dogs who clearly recognize them, and are so thrilled to see them that both the dogs and people are crying in their own way. Truly moving to watch as these animals clearly knew their owner had been gone longer than usual, definitely not just another day at the office.

Lucky Me

Like many people, at this time of year, we contemplate our lives, and try to discern a deeper meaning for why we are here on this Earth, what is our purpose? That has never been more true than this year, after 18 months of pounding economic problems in our country and in the world, to really take stock and think through what matters.

For years I have spent time thinking, believing that I was unlucky, that G-d did not believe me worthy of luck. Why? Because I was not one of the "beautiful" people? It is not that I am not beautiful, I am, just not in a classic way (as my husband tells me). Lucky? I have looked at other people’s luck – judging my insides by their outsides. I don’t know their stories, their individual or family traumas, heartaches, and heartbreaks. I just know that they seem luckier than me. Maybe they had a nicer car, or nicer house or nicer clothes. Maybe they seemed to have a better job, or get promoted ahead of me. Maybe their success seemed to come easy, while I worked harder but achieved less? But what does it all really mean? Do all those externals mean that I am unlucky? After years of observing the world, and being a student of human nature, I would say no.

So here is my lucky list:

I have a beautiful home (when so many have nothing).

I have food on the table (when so many are starving or afraid of going hungry).

I have clothes in the closet (when so many have nothing).

I have electricity and water and a telephone (when so many right now have nothing).

I have a healthy, intelligent son (when others have children who are sick or disabled).

I have an opportunity for self-employment (when so many do not have that chance).

I have a good marriage on the second-try (when some people never find their soul-mate).

I have had the opportunity to travel (when so many merely dream).

I have been reasonably healthy (when so many are ill and my best friend died after suffering with serious chronic illness for 20 years).

I have had the opportunity to help others through my profession.

Like everyone, I grew up in a dysfunctional(i.e. normal) home, but I was lucky because it was one that gave me many opportunities because of my father's hard work:

There was always food,

There was always a roof over our heads.

I went to good public schools.

I lived in a safe community.

I was given religious education (even though my parents were irreligious).

I was given the opportunity to attend a wonderful, challenging university.

My parents helped me financially at different times in my life.

Until one year ago, my parents were healthy.

My siblings were all healthy.

So, maybe it all comes down to that old expression, “there but for the grace of G-d go I” is still so true. There are so many less fortunate than me, I cannot and do not feel sorry for myself. I finally understand that I am, really, truly, lucky.

Beyond Fashion

So here I am, really 50 and trying to boil life down to its essence. What is it that I want to do with the remainder of my life? What really matters? Part of this analysis has included my wardrobe, cleaning out my closet, and reconsidering fashion. While I greatly admire the fashionable women (and men) of the world, where am I in the spectrum? Where do I want to be? The conclusion I have reached is to no longer chase the fashion dream. While I admit to having loved watching Project Runway (until this season which was terrible), I think I have achieved a fashion Zen, going for the classic clothes that will last me for years, and accessorizing for a little more style, my scarf collection included. I am still trying to force myself to wear everything in my closet, or give it away. But I am at peace with the fashion demons who plague we women, especially when we are young and trying to run with the crowd. I am beyond the crowd, I am to a large degree, beyond fashion, into the next phase of my life.

the whole in the donut

Or is it supposed to be the "hole" in the donut, aren't we just trying to make the donut whole? Isn't that what all the pols keep talking about with social security? The simple fix would be to take the cap off income, but I guess that is too simple and too much for those beholden to those who make more than $100,000 for whom contributions are capped. Whatever (I guess that is the most annoying phrase). We need to fix this problem. We can't keep making people work longer and longer because employers, despite anti-discrimination laws, won't hire them and find pretexts for firing older workers. We're not going to cut benefits because the benefit amount being paid barely covers anyone's expenses, must less including long-term care insurance, medicare deductibles, or prescription deductibles, including the hole in that donut.

We need also to be able to re-import drugs from Canada, and the government should be able to negotiate prices with the pharma companies - duuuuuuh. How stupid is it that we can't negotiate those prices, especially for cardiac, cancer, diabetes, asthma and other chronic and pervasive conditions and diseases.

Common sense, good business sense, but bad politics.

Not too big to break up

Don't we all just get sick and tired of hearing that phrase, "too big to fail." Well, those entities are not too big to break up, just the government did to banks, to standard oil, to AT&T, to the railroads etc. It is called anti-trust" to prevent monopolies, to stop corporations from manipulating our economy for their benefit, and harming the public good.

Well, it's time to start breaking up these banks and financial services companies that are "too big to fail," pull then apart and sell off the pieces. Look at what happened to the telephone industry when ATT's monopoly was dismantled? Our cell phones and computers and the modern age of communication. That is how it should be with banking and financial services. The more consolidation, the less competition there will be and we will all be hurt by it. It will breed more conflicts that can't be avoided in major transactions, and more corruption in the system.

Unfortunately, as Michael Moore rightfully points out in his new movie "Capitalism - a love story", our treasury department is being run by Goldman Sachs and its progeny, not people who are concerned about us little folk, just the titans of Wall Street and their friends, as it has been for 30 years, and the gap between rich and poor in this country keeps growing, until we will soon represent a 2d or 3d world country, back to where we were before FDR. Not too big on conspiracy theories but makes me wonder, isn't that the plan in certain parties and groups, to undo the New Deal?

Anti-trust, because we can't trust the powers that be to do the right thing.

Bottoms up

Most of the time we think of this as a drinking term. Get to the bottom of the glass, fast. But isn't there we almost are economically right now. Increasingly, I see it just driving, on the local roads, on the highways, coming in and out of NYC, less and less traffic, almost shocking the difference now versus a few years ago when the economy was humming and we were all rushing to go places, get to work, spend our money before we even earned it.

Bottoms up - also maybe the way we should have fixed the economy. What if, instead of bailing out the banks and financial institutions, who add nothing to our productivity, who produce nothing, who manufacture nothing, just take from all of us, what if we bailed out us little people who pay our taxes who work and struggle to survive? I kept thinking this last summer when the economy began to tank and we began bailing out the AIGs of the world, rewarding failure. It made little sense to me, despite the pleas of Krugman and other economists who explained this had to be done. I kept wondering, why not give the money to us - requiring us to pay our mortgages with it, our credit card bills, our car loans. Wouldn't then the banks be instantly solvent without toxic assets on the books? Wouldn't then our houses would have kept value and we would still be in them? Wouldn't then we would have more money to spend on stuff to keep the economy humming? We could all then afford to pay our taxes? But maybe this is just too simple an idea.

Keep it simple stupid.

Awarding Mediocrity

For the last few years, watching our community and our country award failure and mediocrity. We award millions and billions to banks and companies who have failed and their employees, with no consequences for failure.

We award children for most improved, best attendance, compliance with teachers and staff, and so on but not really awarding and recognizing real academic achievement. We reward children who are gifted in sports, or the arts, but what about the sciences? Science is our future, it is our way out of global warming, It is our way out of pandemics, energy shortages, real invention and innovation will all be science-based. Instead, we question science we question evolution, we refuse to teach our children real history and instead teach some watered down version of it. I see my son in high school doing projects and posters that are more at the elementary school level.

I see students who can't think their way out of a paper box disrupt classes and destroy the learning experience for those who want to learn, with no consequences.

I see students who truly achieve on standardized testing not get recognition or awards, even when it will make their school district look good, because, I am told, it might hurt the feelings of the other children. Well, maybe they will then have the incentive to work harder, to try more, to excel at something.

For eight years we had a president who was mediocre, who had no intellectual curiosity, who didn't want to learn about the Middle East and the countries we were invading. I always remember the phrase, Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it. Isn't that the truth. Anyone who knows the history of the Middle East would know we were doomed to failure, just like Vietnam. And again, we have learned nothing assured that again no one will accept responsibility for the disaster and enormous waste of human lives and money that should be used to build our own country, to pay for health care, to pay for bridges and roads, and green innovation, research that will drive us through the next century of innovation and change. And instead, we rewarded mediocrity, and did nothing, achieved nothing.

Kevin Phillips (a Republican economist) is entirely right when he discussed in his book American Theocracy the global decline of imperialist countries historically, including the Dutch, the Romans and the British and how the three signs of the declining societies, a change in the energy driving the society and a failure to adjust to that change (here oil), a rise in religion and religious implications in the political realm (see the religious right's control over the Republican party and how everyone panders), soaring debt and decline in manufacturing (thanks to free-market believers who have sold our manufacturer down the river and over the ocean) and we are on our way out as a world power.

Our educational system is failure. Our health care system is failing. We are in deep trouble with no one willing to take responsibility and fix the problems because it is too politically difficult and assumes we as a people are too stupid and shallow to get it. Maybe we are, because we have rewarded mediocrity and consumerism for too long.

Let's have national awards for genius, for achievement, and get on it now. Forget no child left behind, how about free college for those who achieve? Isn't that what other societies in Europe do who are beginning to outpace us? China is all about science and engineering and they will outstrip us within 50 years, It is inevitable. Forget Spanish, we all better be learning Mandarin and Cantonese.

Loss of Civility - Bullying

Kanye West, Joe Wilson, we've all been hearing it, discussing it, the ongoing disrespect we seem to have in our society, simple rudeness to others.

The last few years it has become increasingly worse. To stand in line with children at a supermarket or Target and be forced to listen to someone using endless profanity as if they were in their living room, or in an r-rated movie or on HBO. When asking them to stop swearing in front of my children, sometimes they will look at me as if I had two heads, but then the light will go on "oh" realizing that their conduct is not appropriate. Other times my simple request will be met with more virulent profanity.

It has become so commonplace to be rude, to use profanity, to show disrespect to others, it is a sad commentary on our democracy. To me, the heart of democracy is to show respect to others, even when you disagree with them. As an attorney when I am in court, I may strongly disagree with my adversary or the judge, but I must show them respect. I cannot call them a traitor, a socialist, a communist, Hitler, or even that they lie. I do not interrupt them. Listening and showing respect to others seems to be dying skills and art.

Watching Kanye West and Joe Wilson made me think if children in kindergarten who probably behave better then our public figures and those at the teabag protests. What I see is no different than school yard bullies who think they can take control through fear and intimidation while the media acts as any bystander does in a bullying situation, doing nothing and allowing it to continue rather than stepping in and stopping it Call it what it is and end it.

Dejas vous all over again?

Every September, that is how it feels to me. All the years of school behind me, as Labor Day approaches and then passes through all the memories of first days of school, seeing friends after a long summer break, returning home after a summer away at camp, and feeling the sadness of the days gone by, friends who have passed away and are no longer around to share the memories with. It feels as though a whole part of my life is gone with those deaths, as they were keepers of the memories, sometimes ones I had forgotten until they revived some obscure tale from our childhood. No one to share the new memories with.

The new memories of my son's school years, new clothes, running for school supplies the school didn't tell us we needed until after school starts and the supplies can no longer be found, bus problems, class problems, and on and on. Hoping that when he reaches middle-age that he will be able to look back on these days with fondness, and some sadness that these days too have passed by, but has the opportunity to create new memories with his children.

Always, as September begins and ages, I find myself delving in my closets and drawers to find my cooler weather clothes, like finding lost friends that I had forgotten about, my beautiful silk scarves that I wear all winter to liven up my boring lawyer suits, and my shoes and boots and jackets and coats, and say goodbye to summer and summer clothes until next year. Can 2010 really be only 3 months away?

Cooking from memory

Most of the time, I think although I cook well, that I am a somewhat limited cook. Since I have time these days, and my son keeps asking me to write down recipes so he will have them when he grows up, I began to do just that. In writing down the recipes I have kept in my cooking muscle memory for 20-30 years, I was surprised at how many are there - at least 40 - just be memory.

Then I started reviewing and adding favorite recipes from cookbooks, or ones my mother wrote down for me 20 years ago, or I copied from her books 25 years ago. Then I started adding articles I had clipped from Gourmet, or Bon Appetit, or the New York Times, and it kept going and going.

Probably to more than 200 recipes which I have now added together into a book for my kitchen and for my son. In a form that I can keep adding to it, and perfecting it for years to come.

But in really reviewing all these recipes I can see the evolution of my life, of my health food life, of my cooking life, from very simple recipes to more adventurous recipes that require more thought, skill and concentration, and better kitchen tools and self-confidence.

So, my son and his children (I hope) will have an interesting keepsake, one that will be used and evolve into their own recipes, stores, and history.

Zen of Family Life

To survive my family (which is entirely normal, meaning equally as dysfunctional as everyone else's family), I have spent many years in therapy and learning how to be the pebble in the brook. The water rushes around me and over me, but I am stable, solid, not moving, not allowing myself to be moved or affected by the weather and the water rushing and moving. Most of the time I succeed, despite much adversity.

Growing up

When are we ever really grown up? This topic came up yesterday for me during a client meeting with someone who is not happy about turning 30, when I will shortly be turning 50. He is not ready. I never believed I would make it to 30, thinking drinking and drugs would kill me. Instead, I found sobriety at 28 and here I am.

In these times, do we grow up when we graduate college? Don't think so. Many of us these days don't marry, don't have children for years. We work and play and live independent lives but not really grown up ones. Very little responsibility to anyone but ourselves, and some for work. Is it when we get married? Somewhat, as we then begin to have responsibility toward others, maybe buy a house, work more and harder with greater consequences for failure. Certainly becoming a parent is a big one, forcing one into maturity in ways we cannot anticipate or dream.

Another milestone in my life is happening next week, when my son begins high school. The days and years since his birth passed so fast, it is impossible to believe he is 13 and entering high school, with four years left until he begins to leave for college. Even knowing that he will be in and out of my home for the college years, it is still the anticipation of this sea change in life that frightens me. For any parent, our identities and days are so wrapped around parenthood, making sure our child has what he needs be it food, clothes, education, medical care, toys, friends, family, not in any particular order, just depending on the day and time.

Then one day, before we realize it is happening, he will be almost grown up, independent, going through the same process that we experienced, but in a different world then what we experienced growing up.

While we grew up in the Cold War, these children have grown up with the post 9/11 world. We grew up with computers that occupied and entire room. These children are growing up with the world literally at their fingertips with smart phones and the internet. We grew up fighting the government to keep our personal information private from government oversight and intrusion during the 60s and 70s, Watergate, and the Pentagon Papers. These children are growing up with no privacy via MySpace and Facebook, Twitter, and the big brother found in these social networking sights.

I can't say which is better. History may tell us or not. But it is a sure bet that we won't be here to find out.

Restful sleep

As one gets older, it becomes the ongoing question - will I ever have a night of restful sleep? It is so rare to spent a night in bed without waking up, without tossing and turning and being restless. I am so used to getting up at 6 a.m. or 7 a.m. for so many years, to work, to care for my son, even on the weekends, sleeping until 8 a.m. was a luxury. But now I find myself sleeping until 8 a.m. on a weekday, and even today 9:45 a.m. on a Sunday, how rare. I can't remember sleeping like that on a Sunday in probably 25 years. I don't know if it is good or bad, healthy or not, but it is interesting feeling to feel somewhat rested and calm as my son begins his school year, not hectic and harried as usual. So we continue out clean-out and clean-up of the house, so we will definitely not qualify for the show Hoarders/Obsessed. Maybe just obsessed with cleaning out?

End of life counseling

Yesterday, I experienced end of life counseling in a discussion with my father, other family members and my father's doctor. It was horrifically sad, but very humane. The doctor was very kind and sensitive to everyone, and understood the complex nature of the discussion. This was no death panel, this was not the government deciding health care for an elderly person. It was a kind way of ensuring that if a patient does not want to continue on in a life with pain and suffering they can make an informed, intelligent choice about whether to have CPR or other measures taken to bring then back. This is what Medicare provides for, and everyone should be entitled to this, to be shown forms for living wills and health care proxies so this is all set up for them, it saves everyone time, energy, money (especially if you have to get we evil lawyers involved in the process) and most importantly emotional pain.

I am so tired of listening to the illogical debates and discussions. What a great loss today for the debate in Ted Kennedy's death. We need someone to step up with a great voice who can frame the issues and move us past emotion and into facts and logic. Unfortunately, however much I admire President Obama, he is not leading us, he handed us over to the wolves in Congress, to the hissing lobbyists and pharma companies and insurance companies to cut up the spoils they will invariably end up with. How sad for all of us that these issues continue to be politicized.

Cleaning out

When I was a child, I was very focused on being organized and systematic, in contrast to the chaotic house I lived in. Organizing my possessions, clothes, toys, books, felt like the only thing I could control, since I lived with a parent who was compulsive, compulsive spending, compulsive hoarding - food, clothes, medicine and vitamins, newspapers, magazines, catalogues, papers.

I have not lived at home for more than 30 years, but I still am always cleaning out, afraid of accumulating too much. About 20 years ago I read a book about Kabalah. A few concepts really spoke to me, one being one of emptying out, that if I am emptying out, cleaning out, I am leaving room for G-d, and other positive energy. But if I am hoarding, then I am blocking positive energy and positive things from reaching me. Emptying out could be anything, from stuff, to emotional baggage. So I have spent years, emptying out negativity, from old unused clothes and possession, to old emotional baggage that weighs me down and prevents me from soaring. It is both frightening and freeing to make change in life, as much as it is to clean out - that type of change.

With that said, I am in a cleaning out phase. When we returned home from our vacation, (with too much time on my hands) I organized my closet and drawers, cleaning out several bags of clothes, and making a commitment to wear everything in my closet before I repeated summer clothes, and will do the same for fall/winter clothes. As I go, I am finding more and more to clean out, forcing myself to empty out irrelevant baggage from my life.

A&E has a new show about OCD including people who hoard. It is fascinating to watch the program and realize how the compulsions start, the fears, and that is it not so far-fetched or unreasonable. The relationship people can have to their possessions, food, papers, what others would think of as junk. Now that my husband has watched a few episodes, he is now cleaning out too.

Can't we all just get along?

In watching the news the last several weeks with all the fake protestors attending the town hall meetings about health care, I keep thinking about Rodney King asking the fundamental question, "Can't we all just get along?" can't we agree to disagree? Can't we respectfully listen to others, not call them names, not make fun of them? What I am seeing reminds me of first grade, or sometimes seventh grade, but not any better. We can think someone is an idiot but do we really need to tell them? Isn't that just appropriate civil discourse?

When the Republicans had control of the House, Senate and the White house, they didn't get it done, just like they didn't pass a constitutional amendment to ban abortion, ban gay marriage, or any other fundamentalist deprivation of personal rights. So what are they complaining about now?

they have a right to complain, just as I do, but not in the way they are doing it, in part because it is dishonest, in part because it is disrespectful, and because when it is all said and done, it is un-American.

Mid-life thoughts on aging parents

Watching my father's illness and declining health for the last eight months have been extraordinarily difficult. To see a man who in one day goes from being independent, driving, working, eating, walking, paying bills, making phone calls, ordering people around who work for him, to utter dependence in a matter of hours is shocking and horrifying. To contemplate that it could happen to me or my husband at any time is equally terrifying.

So, with all of that in mind D. and I sat down last night and talked about where our lives are headed and what would be on our "bucket list" to take an inventory of our future. It was interesting and telling - we made our lists independently, then compared them and were pleased to learn that more than half we had in common. Most revolved around travel and money, having enough money to not worry about bills, and having enough to be giving it away, doing some good in the world.

For me separately, most revolved around travel which D. has done but I have not, Israel, Greece, Portugal, Hong Kong. I also have a goal to have traveled to all 50 states only 18 to go which would not take long if I focused on it, but not now, after we are empty nesters -

Hawaii, Alaska, Arkansas, Alabama, South Carolina, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Idaho, Utah, Nevada, Montana, Washington, Oregon, Mississippi.

In looking at the list, I was pleased and surprised. We both agreed that we have done so much in our lives, and don't feel deprived. Maybe we haven't achieved what we wanted to professionally, and maybe we won't. But we've traveled, and experienced so much, and lived full lives before, during, and after parenthood, marriage, broken marriages, and broken families, and more.

Now that my son is home, the house doesn't feel quite so empty. At least for now we have positive energy, he is happy to be home from the busy summer with a few weeks left until school starts. I know we only have four more years, then off to college. Is that when life begins again? My summers now are trying to figure out what to do with that life.

Age is a state of mind or just a number?

Yes I know - I am in an enormously immense huge midlife crisis. Three months away from 50 and I look in the mirror and don't see it. I see maybe 40, but not 50, this isn't what 50 is supposed to look like. Why can't I choose my number for the day depending on how I feel and look? Why am I boxed in by chronological age - a number - what does it mean?

That I am supposed to act, or dress, or look a certain way, by whose set of standards and expectations?

Isn't 50 supposed to be all about grey hair and feeling old, or at least that is what it was when I was a child, or even when I was 25. But now, who is 50 - Madonna? She is weird with her diet and whose knows how much plastic surgery, but look at her. Dara Torres, the Olympic swimmer at 42 - her body is amazing. So what is 50, not how I feel or look. Definitely not my state of mind. But certainly wondering and searching for the real meaning of my life, why am I here? What am I supposed to accomplish with my time here because my time is running out, and where is it all headed?

Yes, a real mid-life crisis, and I loudly proclaim that I reject the number 50.

Queen for a day

If I were queen for a day I would:

1. nationalize the banking system, clean it up, shut down the insolvent banks, sell off assets and be done with it.

2. nationalize health insurance, pay physicians reasonable salaries and cancel their student loans, pay incentives for medical students to specialize in under served specialties, agree to pay hospitals reasonable fees for services, and be subject to penalties for mistakes and infections.

3. change all laws and constitutional requirements stating who is a citizen at birth. Thus, if one of your parents cannot show citizenship or legal residence when you are born here, you will not be a citizen.

4. requiring all new roofs to contain solar elements to reduce energy consumption, requiring all new roofs to be white, requiring homes to have small windmills to assist in energy use with battery backups for both the windmills and solar, along with financial assistance to add these systems (10 year roll out).

5. all new homes to have water cisterns and grey water systems, and existing homes to add water cisterns with same financial assistance to add as above.

6. invest in smart grid technology, and google's smart metering so we can track our energy use and learn to conserve.

7. end both wars in middle east which would pay for everything else I would like to do

8. institute a draft which will be an insurance policy against easily entering any future wars (with no exemptions for the rich and privileged). for example if someone is medically unfit for active duty, they would be required to engage in some form of public service at the same pay grade or desk duty for the military.

9. fix social security by removing any income limits. just a flat tax no matter your earnings.

10. higher taxes on wealthy, VAT tax like in europe on luxury merchandise, 1% national sales tax for five years to pay down deficit and pay for transition in economy to nationalized health insurance and reduction in energy use (but not on necessities - clothes, food, TP).

11. outlaw putting corn syrup in food. if the corn producers need to sell their product they can turn it into ethanol rather than our food to make us fatter. too much sugar in every processed food. read the labels.

12. outlaw selling cars/suvs which have MPG of less than 30 within 5 years.

13. outlaw selling of regular water heaters and require upon their replacement conversion to tankless hot water heaters (with financial assistance via tax credits)

14. expand grants to improve efficiency.

Oh, if only I were queen for a day. It would be long, but it would change the world.

a death in the family - the post office

The post office is something deemed so important by America's founders that it is mentioned in the constitution. Article I, Section B of the constitution "The Congress shall have Power to lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the debts and provide for the common Defense and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States; to borrow money on the credit of the United States; . . . To establish Post Offices and post Roads . . ."

The Post Office is like an old friend, a member of the family as it were. Someone who could be relied upon to deliver gifts, checks, bills and other bad news, along with the joys of invitations and announcements, magazines, and a plethora of junk mail. The old motto of the post office delivering in rain, sleet or snow, has fallen by the wayside (at least in my neighborhood) due to worker's compensation for accidents in that weather, and dog attacks, and other safety issues, but the post office has slogged on, trying to keep up with changing technology and growing generations of people who don't write letters, who use only email and internet (and maybe a fax) to pay bills and communicate.

So comes the question, do we really need it anymore? My husband and I have a sick parlor game or really a driving game, as we travel we notice businesses closing or that should close - as we discuss whether you really need brick and mortar businesses for so many items or services. How many big box and other stores do we really need? Do we really need car dealerships or just a mall where we can see all the brands/models and test drive? Do we really need so many cleaners and nail salons? Maybe we need more farms and less stores? We discuss how when we travel through New Jersey so much open space lost to development - houses and townhouses, stores that are now sitting vacant. When I was young and we moved to the area I live in now, even though it was the suburbs, we had farms five minutes away, farm stands with fresh produce. Those farms existed until a few years ago, but have now all been plowed under for development. Now, we have to wait for the farmer's market on Fridays, or drive 30 minutes to a real farm. How sad is that.

Shouldn't we be building fewer homes, consolidating people in tighter spaces to use less fuel, use more mass transit, force people to walk and interact, and grow more food, have more places for windmills and solar panels, and have more open space to enjoy?

So, do we really need the post office? We fax, we email, we fedex or UPS, we buy our stamps at the Shop-rite or online. What do we get in the mail? A few bills from antiquated vendors who haven't yet moved their billing online. A few local newspapers that haven't yet mastered the web for delivering their service. A lot of junk mail. That's about it. We pay our bills from where ever we are in the world, read our news online (except the Sunday New York Times), even ready many magazines online.

Within 10 years, if not sooner, the post office will have to privatize via fedex, DHL, UPS, or another vendor and die. Once the population that still depends on it ages out, it will disappear,, a not so quiet death as the workers are laid-off and the real estate is sold and re-developed (possibly a fund-raiser for debt reduction?). But it is inevitable. Too bad, so sad? or not.

What drugs is Sarah Palin on?

Could you imagine if you or I quit mid-school or mid-contract on an agreement, something we had signed on to do after full disclosure?  We would be viewed as unreliable in our industry and never hired again.  I guess I just don't get the Palin mystique if one exists.  Yes she is attractive, but so what.  She is not articulate, she has no new ideas, she is not well-versed in the issues at hand, she is in my mind George W. in a skirt.    She has no self-awareness, no insight, portrays herself as a victim rather than the volunteer that she is.  She volunteers for all of the media scrutiny of her acts and omissions as well as of her family life.  During the campaign I kept thinking what the media would have said had the Obama's teenage daughter become pregnant and he greeted the baby-daddy at the airport and brought him up on stage!  What if Obama had attending five colleges in six years before graduating from a mediocre school?  

Let's get real - why do we as Americans want mediocrity in our President?  Why do we accept it?  Shouldn't our country be run by the best and the brightest?  Rather than by a bunch of hypocrites - the ones who preach abstinence without educating their children about birth control, who preach about the sanctity of marriage but have affairs,  the ones who decry that we are judging them, but in fact judge us for our decisions because they are different?  Who judge those of other religions or denominations rather than accept them?  

Toleration - I have heard that word so much the last few years.  How we must tolerate others different than ourselves but I think it is dead wrong.  Toleration implies that we can continue to dislike someone whose views or acts are different then ours, but on the surface.  We don't have to like them, just tolerate them.  We don't have to have them in our homes or our houses of worship, just tolerate them, placate them.  But that misses the point. We need to accept others as they are, live and let live - isn't that what it really means to accept someone for who they are?  

I watch the media circus surrounding this bizarre woman and think that she is no different from Britney Spears except Britney has some talent.   

Musings on life and death

As an undergraduate student at Brandeis I studies my favorite poet, Emily Dickinson, and her obsession with death and dying.  She was rather morbid, but interesting.  I find myself thinking more about death now that I am middle-aged and watching my father's illness and decline.  And now, the deaths of public icons, plane crashes, car accidents, it is just all so random.  Life has become so random and violent and unpredictable.  It is no longer easy the way it was for some gentry in the old days to retreat into some inner world and not really interact in any external way, there was no internet and 24 hour news cycle screaming news and information at them.  Life was much slower, with time to contemplate the world, experience it, live it or choose not to live it, but there was time.  Now we listen to music while the tv is on, while we text and email and surf, and get nothing done, and think no great thoughts, experience little, just watch the world go by and watch those who have accomplished greatness depart.

G-d - And those who claim act on G-d's behalf

Last night an alleged Christian killed a licensed physician who performed a legal medical procedure - late term abortions.  Not only did this murderer kill this doctor and father of four, but did so in a church - a house of worship.  This is nonsensical.  It is as wrong as any religious extremist is who kills in the name of G-d.  

A higher power, that is how I perceive G-d.  Certainly all-knowing, somewhat loving, but not loving without limit, not really unconditional love.  I contemplate this issue even more right now with so many things happening in the world, heinous acts perpetrated in G-d's name.  

As I approach the 21st anniversary of my last drink on June 3, I recall struggling with concepts of G-d, spirituality and religion.  The spiritual journey that I embarked on so long ago.  The evolution of learning, practice and thought.  

One of the most meaningful descriptions was a woman I met who told me that her view of G-d came from the song "they called the wind Mariah".  She described how she viewed G-d as the wind and when she was acting properly the wind was act her back, but when she was headed in the wrong direction, she felt as though she had the wind blowing in her face, fighting against it.  Isn't that how we all feel so many times when things are going wrong in our lives?  

Another woman I met suffered from schizophrenia but loved trees.  She worshipped them as though she was a Druid.  I learned that spirituality is more pure than religion because when I view history through the prism of religion, and current events, acts and reactions of peoples and countries become so distorted through their use of G-d and religion to justify their actions. Particularly when their actions are purely about exercising power domination and control over others, to cover up inherent insecurities and uncertainties.  In other words, to hide fear. 

Extremism is extremism, no matter its origins or attempts at justification.  Hate is hate. 

As a former hate crimes prosecutor, the twisted logic that extremists use to justify their actions is interesting but fails for the reason that all extremism fails.  At some point the majority will get past their fear, and their fear of fear, and recognize the hate and extremism for what it is.  It is always attempts to deflect attention what the perpetrators (be they politicians, religious leaders, or warriors) are really attempting to achieve - power, domination and control.  To make people too afraid to ask questions, to challenge those in power and authority.  

To have us be a bunch of sheep, late at night, listening to noises in the dark, and the powers that be, the leaders of the flock are telling us that the noises are really wolves coming in for the attack, even though the wolves are not howling, and we have herd dogs to guard us.  At some point we must learn from history and not continue to repeat these mistakes and allow the pendulum to swing toward these religious extremes.  

 

Mid-life, Mid-career

20 years ago when I decided to go to law school I knew I would graduate at age 31 with a career ahead of me, but never believed I would unemployed at age 49, and opening my own practice to stay alive and support my family in a historically bad economy.  

I remember graduating college at age 20 in another recession (1980) and listening to every commencement speaker discuss how we were graduating at a horrible time and none of us would have jobs.  Most of my classmates went to graduate school.  I entered the job market and struggled for several years in journalism and the broadcasting industry before deciding that as a strong, aggressive, intelligent woman, I had no future in the broadcasting business especially without a MBA or a JD.   So I went to law school, fell in love with litigation and trial evidence, worked as an assistance prosecutor and deputy attorney general.  Tried cases, got married, had a child, got divorced, needed money, went to private practice, got married again.  But now, as a woman who is not a partner because of the years spent as a government lawyer, without a book of business to support my existence in a law firm, I am not marketable in this current climate.  So, as a professional who is mid-career, mid-life, I find myself starting my own practice, filing for unemployment (something I haven't done in 25 years).  

I think back to where we were as a country 25 years ago.  In 1979 I bought my first car - a Chevy Citation, a horrible lemon but it was a four-cylinder car with a four-speed manual transmission.  It got 36 miles per gallon, a requirement emanating from the OPEC-driven oil shortages in the 70's and our efforts toward energy independence.  Then during the Reagan years, the mileage standards were rolled back and our dependance on foreign oil grew, our foreign policies became distorted by our dependance on oil.  

We seem as a country to have no sense of history, no memory of how we got to where we are, and no political will to change it.  If France had the same conditions, people would be rioting in the streets, and going on strike.  But we Americans passively accept what is happening, shrug our shoulders in resignation and go on with our day, struggling to stay alive, feed our families, keep a roof over our heads, in the American tradition of personal responsibility rather than collective responsibility for our communities and our neighbors.  

Maybe it is time to learn something from other countries rather than put them down.  Maybe internationalism is positive, international law is something we can learn and benefit from, rather than something to be afraid of, and condescend to.  Those countries we sneer at have better cars that get better gas mileage than we do, better health care, better retirement and vacation benefits,  important little or no oil, do not destroy their environment, engage in real urban planning, frown on corporate farms, have a healthy food system,  maybe something is terribly wrong with this picture. 

The Republican revolution that started with their demi-god Ronald Reagan has failed on so many levels.  Reaganites always say unequivocally how Reagan destroyed the Soviet Union, but its collapse was inevitable because its economy was unsustainable.  Our collapse was not inevitable, driven by greed and corruption.  

So here I am, mid-life, mid-career, wondering how to salvage both, pay for college for my son in four years, pay for retirement, stay alive.  Where is my bail out?

The Bogus Health Care Debate

For the last six months, I have experienced the pathetic American health care system up close and personal while my father has been ill.  The whole system is failing.  I listen to the alleged debates by our legislators and think that it is all nonsense.  They all have health insurance, the best in the country.  So many people have nothing.  But you know what?  None of it matters.  Even if you have the best insurance, if you have no continuity in your care you have nothing.  If you have no family advocating on your behalf, you have no chance.  It is not that the doctors, nurses, technicians, don't care.  It is that the system is designed so that they can't care for the patients adequately.  They don't have time.  Their hands are tied by the financial constraints placed upon them by regulations, by insurance companies, and it is killing us.  I can no longer stand to hear this fiction that we have the best health care system in the country.  We don't.  Our infant mortality rate is lower than any other industrialized country.  Our life expectancy is not increasing at the rate of other industrialized countries.  When you look at the objective evidence our system is failing.  

We need change now, major change, not incremental change.  This is not an abstract argument, it is based in fact.  I also think about those who claim that the government should not be running our health care system, but it is already.  Is it any better or worse than all the insurance companies running it?  I do not trust either, but I trust the insurance companies less.  The financial incentive to deny care is too great.  

Also, for years I have been watching as I and so many others do not start businesses and do not take risks for fear of losing health coverage for me and my family.  Wouldn't our economy be that much more dynamic if people knew that no matter where they worked they would have health care for themselves and their families?  Wouldn't more people start businesses?  Wouldn't it give more people the option to stay home with small children?  Wouldn't our health in this country be better and, thus, make workers more productive?

Our system makes no sense and is not helping us stay healthy.  We take more medication per capita than any other industrialized country.  The drug companies own us.  We are constantly subjected to bizarre advertising that names diseases and conditions that we've never heard of.  Millions and billions spent so we will request these drugs from our doctors.  Millions more spent to influence our doctors to prescribe these drugs.  

Several years ago I read a comprehensive biography of Eleanor Roosevelt's first years in the White House and her efforts on Social Security which in its original form included nationalized health insurance.  All the same arguments were made then that are being made now.  We need an Eleanor Roosevelt to champion this cause.  Unfortunately, Hilary Clinton couldn't get it done in 1993.  Maybe Michelle Obama can do it in 2009.

CHANGE OR DIE

LAW FIRM TRANSITIONS

 

I have had the misfortunate of being part of the collapse and dissolution of a 100 year old law firm, one that had a wonderful history, but had outlived its usefulness and its ability to survive in our changing economy.  It did not streamline its staff fast enough, did not amend its compensation schedule in time to survive.  What I see now is how the practice of law is changing and must changing to continue in this 21^st century.  Like most brick and mortar stores, these firms must change or die.  During the process of opening my own office, a virtual office for now, I notice how easy and inexpensive it is to run a business in this modern era of computers, and internet, Efax, virtual telephone numbers and even Paypal.  My husband and I play a game as we drive throughout our community, and when we travel in the US and the world, we discuss which businesses will survive, what businesses and services do we really need?  So many that we don’t.  Do we really need to drive to do certain things, can we order on the internet and have it delivered?  Change or die, that is what businesses must do in this economy. 

THE LONGEST COLDEST WINTER

 

The winter of 2008-2009 wasn’t really but it felt that way.  My personal rule is to not complain about things that I cannot control, like weather.  But this winter felt so long and so cold, unrelenting after the last few winters of mild weather.  My father was ill and I felt he would never improve until the weather turned.  I walk outside now that the weather is beautiful and it feels so odd to not be bundled in coats, sweaters, and boots.  My relief at surviving the winter is profound.

 

what is a polymath?

I didn't even know that word, what it meant or that I was one until a few years ago, when my son was identified as one.  

polymath

One entry found. 

Main Entry:

poly·math 

Pronunciation:

\ˈpä-lē-ˌmath\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Greek polymathēs very learned, from poly- + manthanein to learn — more atmathematical

Date:

1621

: a person of encyclopedic learning

— polymath or poly·math·ic  \ˌpä-lē-ˈma-thik\ adjective

— po·ly·ma·thy   \pə-ˈli-mə-thē, ˈpä-lə-ˌma-thē\ noun

that is all me.  learning everything I can about anything that interests me.  that is what this blog will be about, anything and everything or nothing.